What Sports Taught Me


On Saturdays or Sundays it’s hard to ignore the masses of SUVs gathering in stadium parking lots — large monuments honoring America’s lack of moderation where we over-feed ourselves with sodium-rich, fat-filled food and crappy beer at a four-hundred percent markup.

Indeed, Sports looks like our modern day gladiator games.  Sports is flawed, corrupt, greedy and vain.  Sports is the downfall of the republic.  How dare you, Sports.  Shame on you, Sports.

But wait: you can’t blame Sports.  It’s us — we made Sports this way.  The money, athletes, and media are too convenient to blame.

Sports is innocent.  I forgive Sports for flopping, Tim Donahey, steroids, and Donald Sterling — after all, those are all human problems.

I forgive Sports because Sports is trying like the rest of us.  Sports has ups and downs, but at its best, Sports is a magnificent teacher.  In fact, Sports is one of my most important mentors, and I want to talk about why.

Sports taught me about pain and anger

2505341415_2eb744d8d9_oSports taught me how to fail, get back up and try harder.  Thanks to Sports, I knew what it was like to get punched in the mouth, hit in the face with a baseball, elbowed in the teeth, sprain an ankle, and keep playing.

Because of Sports, I knew what it was like to get picked last.  I knew what it was like to get cut from basketball teams once, twice then three times before I made them.  I missed game-winning shots and had game-winning shots scored on me.  I learned how to get angry about it, dust myself off and get to work.

The pain and anguish of Sports, learning how to cope with them and overcome them, prepared me for life.  Sports kept telling me to get back up and fight.

Luckily, it became a habit.

There are no home runs, just inches

5286994825_2c3189051e_oSports taught me that what you do between games and in the off-season matters; that luck is the combination of preparation and opportunity.  Sports taught me that winning is about quality of effort and doing things the right way — that you aren’t a winner because of a trophy and there are no shortcuts.

Training, learning, studying and obsessing about your craft is how you excel.  Weekend warriors who waltz into the gym and expect to compete get busted.  Teams who focus on flair, authentic NBA jerseys, selfishness or retro Jordans get whipped.

A formative experience for me was making my high school team.  In my junior year of high school, I was cut from tryouts, second-to-last cut.  The next summer, between my junior and senior year, I was determined to make it.  I refused to get cut again.

For three months, I played for nearly 3 hours a day.  I frequented these courts:

I got my ass kicked every fricking day for a while.  I got made fun of, punched, pushed around, bullied.  I even got picked on for being (well, half) white, which was new.  People made fun of my hair, skin, face, shoes, shirt, school, game, passing, dribbling.  I didn’t listen.  I kept playing.

I grew tremendously.  I ended the summer having changed my entire jump shot, developed my handle, increased my vertical by 8 inches and drastically improved my court vision and quickness.  By the end of the summer I had the nickname “batman” for wearing a tattered Batman shirt with no sleeves and folks wanted to pick me up on their team.

Jump ShotAll of those battles added up over time made me a better player.  I started to win a lot of games, but there was no magical turning point — no home run was hit, no miracles.  Success, for me, was the sum of all the inches I clawed for through countless hours of practice and struggle.

Then, the next fall, I made the team.  I made it because Sports taught me to fight for all of those inches in the off-season and get back up every day.  There was no other way but to grind.  The willingness to grind and the feeling you have after is the stuff success is made of.

Value the journey

My dream wasn’t to become an NBA player, although I did fantasize about it occasionally.  I wasn’t too focused on long-term outcomes, I just wanted to get better.  I learned to value the journey.  When I look back, I miss the sounds, smells, feelings of just being there and learning.  I don’t think about milestones, I think about the little stuff.

There’s the sound of nylon swishes, the musty smell of the gym, the worn bleachers with spider webs and dust bunnies beneath it and the metallic simplicity of the water fountain.  The long nights spent playing 21 or HORSE at Oregon State with my buddy, endless games of 1-on-1 and playing pick-up games until nobody was left.

And there were so many firsts: a no-look pass, a perfect 28-foot shot, pinning someone’s layup against a backboard, dunking for the first time, etc.  All were tiny championships.

In life, I’ve come to learn, outcomes matter but not that much.  Tiny championships matter, or how you do things.  Do you play the right way?  Are you someone a teammate would want to go to battle with in the trenches?  Do you trust your teammates?  Will they back you up in a fight, and you the same for them?  Can you win together?  Can you lose — and lose bad — together?  Can you take feedback from your teammates?

When you start answering yes to those questions, you are winning.  Sports taught me that, and I try to reproduce the same thing whenever I can.  The quality of your journey and how you do things is what you’ll always remember.

Yay Sports

Sports is human.  Sports teaches, heals, unites and fills us with joy.  Sports can also divide, destroy, injure and defeat our spirit.  Sports is like us, and we are what we make of ourselves.  Sports is a reflection of us, for better and for worse, and I’m okay with that.

Sports, you’re alright.  Thanks for everything you’ve taught me.  I’ve got your back.

2013: The year in pictures


I’ve taken a lot of photos over the past years — about 60,000. One of the cool things about being a photo nut is being able to look back and remember the moments you’ve had.

Capturing time and memories is one of the powerful things about photos. So many things come back to my mind just from a photo: sounds, smells, feelings, lighting, people, laughter and music.

So here are five of my favorites from 2013. I wanted to share a little about why they are special to me and how I shot them. If you’d like to look through more, I’ve created this set for 2013 on flickr.

1. Cathedral of the Holy Cross and Saint Eulalia


Tucked away near the gothic district of Barcelona lies this old church. The photo was taken near the entrance, hand-held, with a 16-35mm f/4 lens. Settings: f/4, 16mm, 1/25s

Why I love this photo:

  • Contrast of colors. The lighted dome represents purity and sanctity, while the area below is dark, dirty and imperfect. Not sure how to put it, but the contrast between the two makes my eyes happy — like pizza for my eyes.
  • Symbolism of the architecture. To me, the photo symbolizes the struggle of man and the difference between who we strive to be and who we actually are.
  • The size of the place. The cathedral was enormous, and I couldn’t imagine how hard it would have been to build it back in the 14th century.
  • Gargoyles.  The outside is littered with gargoyles, and I remember going on the roof to see the city from the top.  The wind was crazy, but it was worth it.

2. Sagrada Família

sagrada família

This photo of Sagrada Família, Barcelona’s most famous landmark, is one of many I shot while in Barcelona. I shot this particular photo with an 85mm 1.4/f, handheld. Settings: f/2.8, 85mm, 1/100s

This photo reminds me of a spaceship. It is the canopy above the main altar. The inner dome is littered with very ornate decorations and bathes the altar in sunlight. It looks like something from another world — something man couldn’t possibly have built.

3. Point Arena Light

point arena light

The Point Arena Light is a lighthouse in a pretty remote part of northern California, about 100 miles northwest of Point Reyes. It sits on a thin peninsula overlooking the Pacific Ocean. This picture was taken from the very top of the lighthouse, handheld, with a 16-35mm f/4 lens. Settings: f/4.0, 16mm, 1/60

This picture reminds me of our last trip before Ella was born. It was the last time we’d take a trip with just us — Jaime, the dogs and myself. It was a time to think: about being a father, of the changes to come. And, yes, a little bit of worrying and convincing each other things would be okay. Luckily, they would be.

4. Hopes and Dreams


Ella was born on May 12, 2013. It was the happiest day of my life. She was born with dark blue eyes and black hair. As she grew, her hair turned light brown and her eyes turned a lighter shade of blue, getting even lighter in the middle. This photo was taken with a 105mm f/2.8 macro lens. Settings: f/4.0, 105mm, 1/60s

This photo reminds me of how I feel about Ella, sure, but it also represents how I feel about time. Ella, pictured here at about 5 months old, has an entire lifetime ahead of her. So many things to do, so many firsts and a world of possibilities before her. What fits in a lifetime is overwhelming — and she’s just starting.

When I look at this photo, I think about all of the things she will experience in her life. My hopes, her dreams — I hope she is fortunate enough to live well and reach her dreams.

5. A Place to Sit


I started my new job on August 19, 2013. After nearly 10 years at Mozilla, which included the Firefox 1.0 launch and many different milestones, I joined Box. This is a photo of a bench at a ranch house in Santa Rosa. I was at a team off-site with engineering leaders, and it was the first time I really got to know some of my peers. It was taken with my trusty 16-35mm f/4, hand-held. Settings: f/4.0, 35mm, 1/200

I sat in this chair for a bit earlier that morning thinking about my life. I thought about the folks I left behind at Mozilla — there are so many memories, and I will always cherish them. I thought about my new colleagues, what was to come and my future at Box. I sat in that chair, between two worlds: the world I came from, and the world I was joining. I felt nostalgic, but after a while two feelings surfaced above all others: I felt lucky and grateful.

What a Year

Among other things, we had our first child, I changed jobs, I went to Europe for the second time, I officiated a wedding and said goodbye to my uncle Craig. It was a full year — a year of change, love and diapers.

To all of you who have helped me along the way: thank you. Let’s make 2014 just as awesome.

If you have time, check out my entire 2013 set.

Being a Dad


Hopes and Dreams

How could I feel so much love for this little person I’ve never met?

I asked myself that when I first held our daughter.  Ella turns six months old tomorrow and I get the same strong, inexplicable feeling when I hold her.

The first time I met Ella, I cried.  I hid it well, but I cried.  Mostly, I smiled.  My cheeks hurt.  My heart swelled.

From the first day, I liked to watch her sleep.  As I watch her dream, I am in awe of the stark contrast between Ella and what amounts to a lifetime of experiences yet to come.  A clean slate, new beginning and sheer, utter innocence.

I envy her — I wish I could see the world without judgement or analysis.  To see things for what they are is a gift a grown man like me isn’t capable of.

What is to come?  Crawling, walking, first words, solid food (stinkier poops!) and so much laughter.  I hope to see her learn to ride a bike, throw a ball, swim, play music and run around in circles for no reason.  I want to be there.  I get to be a kid again, and I will be her sidekick.  Yes!

Before Ella was born, I spoke about how liberating being a father would be for me.  I was ready to be a dad because I was tired of focusing so much energy on things that didn’t matter.  I had to let go.  I would have someone else to take care of.  My own worst critic just got a lot busier with someone more important.

She freed me.  I was able to breathe.  In a way, she’s saved me from myself.

There are moments where Ella stops and looks up at me, almost to say, “hey Dad, you’re silly.”   In that moment, not a whole lot else matters.

Not the apathy of politics, the pain and misfortune in this world, the environment, chores, work, video games.  My faults, insecurities and baggage — it all melts away, like the crowd to a stage actor in the spotlight.  All wiped away — for that moment — by a smile, sound or touch.

Being a father is great, better than expected, and I try hard every day to just to enjoy it.  I try to see and accept these moments for what they are — nothing more, nothing less. Life is simpler, happier now. I have Ella and Jaime to thank for that.

Change is Good


Having a child sure changes things. So does leaving your job after about 10 years of service. Naturally, I decided to make life interesting and tackle both at the same time.

Tomorrow I’ll be joining the engineering team at Box. Box is aiming to change the way people work and communicate — I’m excited about joining a great team and culture. It’s going to be awesome; even Ella is excited:

Ella in her new gear

So how have I spent the last two months? Well:

  • Watching Ella grow up way too fast
  • Traveling to Oregon, Yosemite and Mammoth
  • Riding my bike
  • Turned 35
  • Took time to reflect on my time at Mozilla, including replying to all of the emails I got when I left (I will miss you folks!)
  • Playing basketball and softball
  • Catching up with old friends
  • Finally getting around to finishing Torchlight (I & II)
  • Reading up on some tech and playing with some koans

It’s been a great summer. Living in the moment, being able to focus on just being a dad, cherishing this rare time in Ella’s life with Jaime by my side has been a blessing.

Now it’s time to get to work, which will be about building things and having fun doing it.

Change is good.



H1 at night

I distinctly remember sitting on the yellow fire hydrant outside my house in Mililani. It had a flat top — kind of an odd hydrant, really — but it was cool to the touch, even on hotter days. I used to sit on it and daydream while my father worked on cars in the garage.

I thought about life, why I was here or who I’d be where I’d grow up. I was eight, but something inside of me has always been older. I wondered who I’d marry — if I would ever be? — and what kind of adult I’d be. Would I be a scientist? An astronaut? A basketball player? A doctor? I’d think of these things as I tossed tiny red lava rocks over the retaining wall.

The thinking continued through high school, where I developed a fondness for writing. Creative writing, American literature and advanced writing taught me to see the meaning behind things. A scarlet letter, the eyes of a child, a handful of dust or a rye field — to some they are mundane, nondescript, uninteresting things. To the right person they are heavier than the world or brighter than the sun.

The last few weeks have been important for me. At thirty-five I’ve found space to appreciate the meaning of time, love, patience, loyalty, humility, family and friendship. I’ve the time to daydream again and I’m excited about what’s to come.

Last but not least: Thank you. To my colleagues, friends, family and all of you who have helped me along the way — my eight-year-old self could not have imagined a better life filled with better people. I am definitely lucky. Also, 7-11 serves free Slurpees on my birthday. What?!

Here’s to the next thirty-five.

Reorgs: choose wisely


We trained hard … but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
– Charlton Ogburn, “Merrill’s Marauders”, Harpers Magazine, January 1957

Having been through a few reorgs, I can tell you that two requirements should usually be met:

  1. The change must be good for the org and mission
  2. The change should be good for the individuals involved

You should strive for both 1 and 2, exhausting all options, but sometimes you must choose just 1.

If you find yourself stuck choosing 1 over 2, it almost always results in people leaving. It causes boredom or animosity — both spell doom for an employee or team’s morale. Just be prepared to lose people.

I believe something is horribly wrong if you are in a position where 1 supersedes 2 and you have no better alternative than to lose valuable people — but it may not be worth over-generalizing. Just think about it.

BRAINS and the art of decision making

I went through a birthing class with my wife prior to having our first kid. They introduced a framework for making decisions that is universally applicable and works well with reorgs. It’s called BRAINS:

  • Benefits: What are the benefits of the reorg — for both the mission and the people involved? What is your vision?
  • Risks: What do you stand to lose by going through with it? Will you lose people? Will it slow your teams down initially? What are the costs if it doesn’t work out?
  • Alternatives: Is it not an org issue? What if you hired a key person to fix the issue, changed your process or reset priorities? What are other ways to address your concerns?
  • Intuition: Does it feel right? Would it feel right to the team? Are you finding it hard to defend it because it seems so counter-intuitive? Typically if things do not feel right, something is wrong. Intuition is usually overlooked with these types of things but it’s a powerful motivator for the org and has direct ties to morale. Pay attention to this and listen to what people are telling you.
  • Nothing: What happens if you do nothing? Sometimes letting things play out resolves problems. Time works miracles if you can afford it — but sometimes you can’t. That said, understanding the relative cost of doing nothing is an important yardstick when rationalizing change.
  • Smile: Smile because you made a decision. When all is said and done, if you can support your decision and commit to it, be happy you made one. Move forward and be positive — it’ll help things work out and get folks to come along with you.

The reorg sanity test

There are some questions you should be able to answer before bestowing a reorg onto your organization. So in the spirit of the Rands test, follow these questions and see how many points you end up with:

Is the reorg easy to defend? (+1)
Like relationships, if things are rocky early on, something is off. Most often promotions, reorgs and other changes feel right. Intuition goes a long way here and if the first general reaction people have is “huh? what?” that’s not a good sign. You’re looking for the nod here — when you explain it to someone it should be self-evident and make sense. If it isn’t, and don’t kid yourself, then no points for you.
Did you discuss the reorg with your team? (+1)
The idea that someone can draft a master plan, drop it on a group of brilliant people and tell them to just do it is draconian. In software, solutions built from the ground-up have galvanized buy-in as a built-in feature; this applies to organizations as well. If you’re making decisions without input from the org you are forgoing a valuable resource and missing opportunities to a) evolve your solution into something better b) let the org be heard and help them own the solution. If you shared your plans early and got feedback on them before making a decision, give yourself a point.
Did they like the idea? (+1)
First impressions are hard to change. When you shared your plan or decisions (whatever stage you were at) did your team like the idea? Were they uncomfortable? Was there an awkward silence after you explained the plan? Or were they happy about the change and reinforce it? If they liked it, give yourself a point.
Did your team come up with the idea? (+1) Did upper management? (-1)
If you are a progressive leader, your team may have even come up with the idea in the first place. Asking the right questions can lead to solutions. If your team actually came up with the new reorg plan, give yourself a big fat point. Good on you. If this is an idea from upper management and has never involved anybody from your team below a certain rank, subtract a point — you are creating issues with buy-in down the road.
Did you discuss the reorg with other parts of the company? (+1)
This is a transparency check. Did you make the overall decision without dependent teams knowing about it? If you shared the plan and did a dry run to see other groups’ reactions, give yourself a point. If you hatched your plan in private and the first time folks saw it was via a) being told it was happening via an email b) rumors — then no points for you.

If you scored 3 or less, you’re playing with matches. Some combination of top-down leadership and lack of transparency leads to issues with buy-in. It means your reorg, even if applied, will not stand the test of time and erodes trust in your leadership. It could make everything harder for you.

The golden circle

I mentioned that doing what’s right for the people involved is important. I think it’s arguable that rule 1 and rule 2 must always be met — but I know in practice that people can’t always just do whatever they want and there is usually a bottom line to uphold.

Some of this all comes back to what kind of leader you want to be. In relation with Simon Sinek’s thoughts on the golden circle, I’ve always striven to be the type of leader who leads with why, guides people to how and empowers people to discover the what.

A conventional approach is to start with what you want, tell people how you want them organized and explain why when the plan is shared.

I think a better approach is to help your team understand why changes are needed, help them find a solution for how they want to be structured and ultimately they will arrive at the correct what — the right org to match the challenges they face.

Leading with the why is inclusive and gets you better buy-in long-term. This means less of a cliff when the initial proposal is thrown out there. It makes transition easier but can get hung up on finding 100% consensus. Remember that even if you lead this way, you still need to make a call and push forward.

If all else fails, do your best to listen to your team and what they are telling you before and after you discuss the problems they face. The answer to how your organization should be formed lies within your team as much as it lies within you.

Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.
– Confucius

Ode to James Socol


James Socol is moving on from Mozilla. It took me a week or so to digest what this means to me. Today I’m sitting here, in what would have been our weekly 1:1, writing this post because:

  • I’m not letting James leave without a proper tribute
  • I’ll miss working with him (a lot)
  • He is too humble to write a post about how badass he is
  • I couldn’t take him out drinking to dinner last week

What I’ll Miss

At the top

James Socol is a force of good. He can usually be found getting shit done and pushing forward every day. I’ve worked with James for about four years as his manager. He possesses both sound principles and a wicked work ethic. He was reliable and never said, “that’s not my job.” He’s the kind of guy you want on your side.

There are many reasons to miss James but here’s what I will most (in no particular order):

  • Sense of humor: James has a dry sense of humor and has mastered the art of sarcasm (the good kind!). He also understands all internet memes and often corrected me on these. His depth of Penny Arcade and xkcd knowledge are unparalleled. I’ll miss all the laughter we shared during work weeks and meetings.
  • Passion for people: It was great seeing James grow as a manager. James and I first started testing Rypple for managing feedback loops a few years ago here at Mozilla. Neither of us were going to accept a yearly feedback loop as enough for personal development of our teams. He volunteered to experiment with new methods for managing teams and led by example. You could tell he actually cared about people and being a manager was more than just a job to him. I’ll miss working with him on leadership and management because I learned as much from him as he learned from me.
  • Solving problems, not symptoms: Regressions are always something to worry about in software. What made James special is he isn’t happy just fixing regressions faster or reducing them to a reasonable level. He strives to eradicate them and pushed us to move forward with continuous integration and deployment. James approached every problem with soul. His work will persist in what he leaves behind but I will miss how well he matched the work of today with the principles behind tomorrow.
  • Putting his heart into it: All in. That’s what comes to mind when I think about how James approached things. He’d be upset if things weren’t working well, if someone was unhappy with him or if a launch went poorly. He lived and breathed his work for Mozilla and I will miss his passion for the mission because it inspired me and everyone around him.

A Giant Code Impact

James discusses his favorite topic

On top of everything else, James was a code beast. He has quite a few repositories but when it comes to code, here’s what stands out:

An easy, HTML5, whitelisting HTML sanitizer. A powerful and widely used libary; gives webdevs granular control over HTML inputs.
A Python client for the statsd daemon. James pushed for us to use statsd and Graphite. Instead of complaining that we didn’t use them he got his hands dirty and made it work and convinced everyone why it was important.
A feature flipper for Django. It can define the conditions for which a flag should be active, and use it in a number of ways. This helped our first continuous projects focus on shipping features instead of arbitrary versions.
A CSS/JS bundler and minifier for use with Jingo; connector to use Jinja2 templates with Django. This helped us minify assets for deployment.
A collection of small but useful tools for Django. Often used internally by our developers.
James was a key contributor to playdoh, especially in the early days before it became an official library. He wrote a lot of its middleware and built one of our first sites using Django as its foundation. Today, playdoh is a popular choice for new projects at Mozilla (if written in Python).
kitsune and kuma
Last but not least, James was the lead engineer behind Mozilla’s customer support knowledgebase and developer documentation software. If I’m not mistaken he also chose the codenames.

Mad Street Cred

Nice kicks

James leaves behind two solid teams who build and support support.mozilla.org, input.mozilla.org and developer.mozilla.org. It’s important to note that his peers will miss him as much as I will. Here are some things they were thankful for:

On management:

… totally the best manager I’ve ever had. He understood the way that developers work (being a developer himself) and he was also such an awesome person! Also I think as far as my experience goes, he’s the first manager I’ve had that I felt completely comfortable being 100% open with.

broke every stereotype I had about managers. Great to come to Mozilla and have an awesome manager.

encouraged us to think about sane remote working practices

being a very nice interviewer

James always was encouraging and offered a tremendous amount of support to new developers. James was one of my favorite people who interviewed me when I applied to Mozilla. James’ demeanor, personality and attitude put me at ease. James truly displayed the Mozilla attitude that I love about working here.

As an engineering mentor:

continuous deployment/improving webdev’s deployment processes a LOT

He put freakin’ LOLcats in a code review! He’s very serious about quality code but he reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously.

Being Webdev’s security ambassador with the Security team

Being Guardian of Code Cleanliness on all his projects

James was humble and helped webdev grow through through various scaling points.

As a person:

letting me crash on his couch twice in one summer with random people he’d never met

Starting the “Better Know A Webdev” blog series


James leaves Mozila with solid teams, solid code and better practices. He takes with him acquired wisdom and lasting friendships.

I think James will continue to build amazing things and be successful wherever he goes. If anybody out there doubts him, hopefully they can read this post.

James – I’ll miss you but this isn’t goodbye. I will still troll you on twitter and expect you to keep your libraries up to date!

See you soon. Cheers. ❤

James approves!