I read an interesting article about Floyd Landis’ doping today. My gut feeling is the sport is so oversensitive that when someone wins it’s just natural to assume they are doping and fart in their general direction.

Especially if you are French, and the guy winning is another American.

But hey, why should we care anyway?

The French can have their strangely convenient and isolated blip on an otherwise clean record that ironically wouldn’t even help a cyclist overnight.

It’s too bad Floyd is paying the price for American dominance in cycling. (Of course, if he did cheat, I’m an ass.) … (Well, either way…)

Dear Bruce Bowen,

I know you tried really hard to foul the crap out of Dirk and get away with it. So sorry you and your team of muggers couldn’t hack your way to another championship at the expense of a better team.

I read your website, which is almost entirely dedicated to the “art of defense”. You spent all that money making a pointless flash site that didn’t have anything about defense except, “eat your greenies” and “train hard!”.

I was disappointed to find out that even on your website, when you’ve had time to think about it all, you don’t seem to understand anything about defense.

You have career averages of 7.5 points, 3.9 rebounds and 1.5 assists per game. You average 0.9 steals a game, shoot a horrible percentage on offense and are pretty much a non-factor in every statistical category.

In 10 years, you have not learned how to shoot free throws. You’re a 6’7″ small forward/shooting guard who can’t shoot free-throws or score effectively from outside or inside. You don’t steal the ball and don’t pass very much.

So you did what you had to do, I can dig it. You made a living off of frustrating the hell out of the other team’s best offensive player. It’s honest work.

But as I watched you tonight in game 7, shamelessly holding and slapping at Dirk, I just felt sorry for you. You have been framed as a defensive specialist but when your team needed real defense all you had was a 6’7″ frame and hope that Dirk would miss.

Better luck next season, Bruce. Let’s hope the refs don’t catch on to your strategy. I’d hate to see you try to earn a starting spot on any team based on any other part of your game.

<3,
Mike

PS – The Spurs sure cry a lot for a team who won championships on blown calls (also, I’m a jackass for writing this post).

The NBA is the best basketball league in the world. It’s primetime, best-of-show, extreme, nail-biting, you name it. It tries to make basketball what it was supposed to be: exciting.

You might disagree. You might enjoy little league, high school or college games more for some reason. But not me. Give me a good NBA game and I’m happy. Here some reasons why:

• Arguably the best overall athletes in professional sports. NBA players are tall, quick, strong and intelligent (most of them — on the court anyway).
• Traditional rivalries. They go way back, I guess you get this in college, too. But come on – Lakers vs. Celtics? Bulls vs. Pistons? That is what legends are made of.
• One-on-one battles between great players. Defensive matchups between a great defender and great offensive talent are often seen on a nightly basis. It is hard to have these marquee matchups when you’re playing a box-and-one or 2-3 zone.
• No boring zone defense. Defenders have to be better at one-on-one assignments, and have to be smarter during rotations. Teams have to be smarter about who they commit to, and they pay a price for overloading and picking on one particular player.
• Shorter shot clocks. Seriuosly, 35 seconds to run a play? The NFL has twice the players on each team and it only takes them 25.
• No three-point shooting contests. No zone means players get guarded on the perimeter more closely. Teams don’t play four-courners and end up chucking threes all game because the defense is plugging the lane.
• Three-pointers are actually worth three points. Instead of the traditional 20-foot 3-point line that was introducted in 1961 by the American Basketball League (ABA), the NBA now has a 22 foot perimeter. Because of the 2-foot increase, the shot is a low-enough percentage that it is used as an additional weapon, not the main focus of today’s offenses. In contrast, college games are typically decided at the 3-point line because of its relative closeness. For example, Illinois hoisted over 40 3-point attempts in the 2005 NCAA Finals.
• Post-up moves? Hook shots? Pick and rolls? Three reasons why college basketball lacks some of the fundamentals. Zone defenses put a strangle hold on all three.
• Better refs. They make more money, they are professionals, and they miss less calls.
• Better coaching. Plays, defensive and offensive, that have been proven at the college level or elsewhere in the NBA to be effective. No standing around looking listless. The troops have a more capable general.

Now don’t get me wrong. A great college game is as good as a great NBA game. But what I won’t agree with is saying that _overall_ college basketball is way better than NBA. That’s bullshit. In my mind there is no comparison. March Madness, yes, I think it is awesome — but the fact remains — there is definitely a lot of shitty basketball being played every week around the country, and it’s pretty sad.

Here are some reasons why people hate the NBA:

• Illegal defense? You don’t even understand the whole point of it. First off, illegal defense no longer exists, and hasn’t for over 4 years. The NBA board realized that the rule was hurting basketball and it was rescinded at the beginning of the ’01-’02 season. The only standing rule that regulates defenses is the defensive 3-second rule that prevents defenders from sitting in the paint for longer than 3 seconds when they are not guarding an opponent. The violation is hardly ever called.
• Egos, which don’t really matter to me when it comes to great basketball. So the guy is a punkass? So what, sometimes a baller just schools your honor student. Get over it and tell them to practice more.
• Over-hyped? What isn’t?
• Other rules and regulations? You probably haven’t read the rulebook, so this probably isn’t a good point for you.

Why college games tend to piss me off:

• It sucks having to watch inexperienced players make mistakes I wouldn’t make. Some college players are just that dumb.
• I don’t like watching guys who made the team “just because they were tall”.
• I hate watching a good team suffer because they have a first-time crappy coach who doesn’t know what a pick is, or doesn’t know how to run a defense that is anything but a 3-2 zone.
• Defenses cheat. They sit back, don’t guard the three, and most of the time rely on the fact that college players can’t shoot threes very well, which leads us to…
• Three point contests. Sooner or later a team realizes the other team is sitting back, and they give it to their best shooters and just chuck threes all game instead of trying to play basketball. Or, they lack the ability to play real basketball and are satisfied with throwing up 40 3-point attempts.
• Flukes. In the round of 64, believe it or not, sometimes the best team doesn’t win. The NBA playoffs keep flukes from happening. There are no cinderellas, just great teams who deserve a championship.

You know, in the end, it’s about the game. I personally don’t give a shit about who likes what, and I don’t necessarily believe that the NBA is better in all aspects. I think it’s more fun to watch, and that’s my opinion. Just don’t count out the NBA when you don’t really understand what it’s about or fully recognize the difference between the two leagues.

Overall, though, give me a good ball game that is well played and I don’t care about where the line is, who is coaching, or what silly rules there are. I’m happy, because all things aside, on most nights, the best team usually does win.

Rulebooks are interesting to read. More people should try it sometime.

Ron Artest will be the first one to tell you that nothing was his fault. Ben Wallace overreacted, he’ll say. Big Ben didn’t like that he was down by 15 with 45 seconds left and took it the wrong way.

The fans, then, right? They shouldn’t be punching the 6’8″ black man trying to attack a fan. They shouldn’t throw food or drinks in disgust of the visiting team’s tirade into the stands. Or maybe that one white guy shouldn’t be throwing a beer onto Artest as he acts like a smartass by sprawling out on the scorer’s table during a scuffle he was basically responsible for starting.

After watching what is probably the biggest brawl in NBA history, I think to myself – who caused it? Having watched the whole thing, I think it’s very simple.

When you’re up by 15, and a guy gets an open dunk, there is no reason to intentionally foul him from behind. Ben Wallace knows this. Ron Artest knows this. The fans knew this. That was bullshit, and everyone knows it. The ensuing fight was quelled, everyone was calm, all is well, right?

Wrong. I do not know what prompted Artest to lay down on the scorer’s table. In a way it’s him flicking off the fans, Detroit, the officials, etc. He basically started it. It’s like the kid hiding in the bushes as he laughs and watches the house he lit on fire burn down. Hell yeah he deserves to get his ass whooped.

What is tragic here is the embodiment of an eye-for-an-eye on national TV. Beer thrown + Fan = Right to assault someone. Is that fair? In the heat of the moment that is how they all justified themselves. It is just wrong.

And I have to listen to assholes like Tim Legler saying it was the fan’s fault. Yea – maybe the fans were out of line – but you have to remember Artest, man. This guy left his team to go make a rap album, he led the league in flagrant fouls last year and will probably lead it this year. The guy is a dirty player and on top of that he doesn’t care about his own team.

Ben Wallace? He has big hair. And that’s not even a bad thing. The guy is a nice guy, real humble, youngest kid in his household of 8, raised by his mama and had no father. Does he get upset when someone like Ron Artest comes into his house and fouls him on purpose with a 15 point lead and 45 seconds left? I sure as hell would.

In the end, the league will survive, life will go on, people will forget. I hope people don’t get all terror-crazed at NBA arenas because of an isolated incedent. Soon we’ll see barbed wire between players and fans.

Artest will probably get a slap on the wrist, but he should really be banned from the league.

Today I sat out a game and watched the guys run full court. As I watched them run back and forth, I couldn’t help but think about why Naismith decided to pick five as the number of people on a team.

It could very well be that the Dr. himself didn’t really give much thought to the number five and the number of players was arbitrary and based solely on the physical size of the playing area. However, the more I thought about it, the more I began to see correlations between five player teams in basketball and five player teams found in work, social, and family settings.

In many areas of my life, I see fives. I have five good friends, five work relationships that take precedence over the others, and five family bonds that together construct the foundation of my life. I probably live by five major principles, find five different types of jokes funny, have five different beers, like five things about women, and hate five things about people.

Okay, maybe that’s overkill. But seriously, I can see where there are roles filled in my life in groups of five. Let’s run through ’em.

point guard

The point guard is a handler. They are involved in everything, handling many issues over short periods of time. The distribute, communicate, lead, and assist others. A strong point guard is an important part of progress because they improve everyone around them on the offensive end, which is symbolic of the future.

Point guards are not without weakness. In fact, despite being able to process so many things at once and having such a strong influence on those around them, they are very vulnerable at times because they often overcommit and can overexert themselves on the offensive end. What makes them good at establishing the future makes them weak on defense, which I see as symbolic of security.

shooting guard

The shooting guard is often the star of the show. They thrive on attention, love the thrill of danger, and they live for taking the last shot. They aren’t afraid of failure, and will dive into battle against even the most powerful of enemies. In their greatest moments, they far exceed anyone’s expectations and can reach levels higher than any other team member. The shooting guard is important because it can inspire through its flashes of brilliance.

The ephemeral nature of the shooting guard’s brilliance provides balance. Life is up and down for a shooting guard. Where there can be such high peaks, there can also be deep valleys — shooting slumps — or depression — where things don’t go right, and that same killer instinct and fealesses can be easily transformed into doubt. Shooting guards depend heavily on the rest of their team for encouragement, support, and friendship (defense).

small forward

The small forward is there when you need them, and they do what you need them to do. They are about timing, placement, and balance. In all circles, the small forward is the utility person. They fill the gaps by providing encouragement, listening, leading, or producing where needed.

There aren’t any true peaks for the small forward. They would not be able to do any one thing very well, but the small forward is above average at everything. For this reason, they depend on the greatness of others, and feel more comfortable in a secondary role.

power forward

The power forward is about strength. They are the strongest team member, and that makes them good at getting great position (symbolic of determination and discipline). They can power through obstacles (other team’s defense) and also play great defense against people bigger than them. To me this correlates to being able to provide support during hard times.

The power forward lacks speed and quickness. While they are extremely powerful when on task, they cannot multi-task efficiently or keep tabs on everything without letting things fall through the cracks. They are focused on the present and generally do not see too far ahead (not visionary). They rely on shooting guards and point guards for that kind of contribution (outside shooting).

center

The center is a mountain. Mountains are always there. They are consistent, and you know what you’ll get from them. They perform day in and day out and don’t complain, mouth out, or try to extend past limits they are well aware of. The center excels at blocking shots (nullifying insults with reason), getting rebounds (helping the team regain composure), and helping on defense (providing support when others fail). The center is a passive leader, and leads through its example of loyalty, discipline, strength, and consistency.

The center is not the most offensive-minded player. Because of their lack of speed, they do not create their own shots, they get in position and do their thing when called upon. They are soldiers in the paint, but simple-minded soldiers. They rely upon their faster teammates to create offense (form ideas for the future).

putting it all together

Each team member has a strength and a weakness. Typically where one excels, another does not and vice versa. Through teamwork, weaknesses can be nullified and the team can accomplish things they could never do on their own. Naturally these roles bleed into each other — for example you could have a well balanced shooting guard and a “star-of-the-show” small forward. It’s all the same difference, though — somehow everyone sucks, and when they suck, they need someone else’s strength to pick up the team and maintain progress.

Despite the possibility that Naismith just chose 5 for the hell of it, I do believe that the number 5 is significant here. Coincidentally, Confucianism is founded upon 5 principles, the 5th planet is the solar system is the largest, we have 5 fingers on each hand, 5 toes on each foot, the human interpretation of stars has 5 points, and the Torah has five books. The list goes on and on — read more about five here.

Ultimately, what basketball has taught me is that nobody is perfect, and because of that it makes the relationships in our lives the deciding factors in the journey of life. If we cooperate with our teammates, we can accomplish things we never thought we could. If we try to do everything ourselves we will undoubtedly fail. Naismith may not have been preaching that, but I’m sure he wouldn’t be disappointed with the message I got:

Love others; without them you would lose.

Every once in a while someone comes along and inspires me. Kobe Bryant is not that person.

Between the adultery, the empty tattooed gesture, a $7 million diamond apology and the inexplicable strutting he does on the (basketball) court — I start to wonder why people idolize this man we see on tv who wears purple and yellow on gameday but should really be wearing a shirt with a scarlet A on its front.

I don’t know what happened in Eagle — and honestly I’m beginning to not care anymore. I’m joining just about everyone else who is jaded with the hype, the constant buzz about another fallen media angel in the world of overpaid sports icons. Psychoanalysts could have a field day with this. Maybe Kobe is a target, a victim. Could be that the woman is making it up — or maybe he actually did assault her and rape her — or maybe a little bit of both?

Fact is, whatever happens, the larger problem will still be there. People seem to be “okay” with the adultery part. Oh, so all he did was cheat on his wife — no big deal. Yea yea, he’s forgiven, it was the hotel clerk’s fault for coming on to him.

What are you, nuts? Come on — this is another item on a long list of things that are constantly pissing me off. It’s like nothing is ever anybody’s fault anymore, and even if it is, they still get off easy if they say the right things, or know the right people, or just plain have too much money for their own good.

Fifty years ago, Kobe would have had his ass kicked by that girls’ father and there wouldn’t have been a trial about it. Just go straight for the shotgun. His money and his blanket of lawyers give him a shield against any real consequences. Ask OJ — you can plain just kill your wife and get away with it if you distort the truth enough to confuse the shit out of 12 people.

Meanwhile, in DC our idiotic president is laughing his ass off. Sports, the great diversion for the masses has once again won our attention and we continue to ignore political issues that affect us all. Just about the only time we are exposed to the truth is when we fill our gas tanks — and in Oregon we are even deprived of that — we have attendents do it so we can keep listening to our radios in our oversized inefficient SUVs.

So the president, basketball stars, gas station attendents — none of them deserve to be my hero. I look at the honest teacher who makes shitty pay but doesn’t care because they love the kids — or the nurse who takes extra time to talk to her patients in an attempt to take away their pain — or the programmers who work for free everyday in an effort to make the world a better place. They are my heroes. I can salute them — they are way more badass — and I haven’t even seen them in Sprite commercials.

Kobe’s good at basketball — but he gets an F for fatherhood, husbandry, leadership by example, and responsibility. You too, OJ and W. You guys suck ass.