You’re Not My Hero


Every once in a while someone comes along and inspires me. Kobe Bryant is not that person.

Between the adultery, the empty tattooed gesture, a $7 million diamond apology and the inexplicable strutting he does on the (basketball) court — I start to wonder why people idolize this man we see on tv who wears purple and yellow on gameday but should really be wearing a shirt with a scarlet A on its front.

I don’t know what happened in Eagle — and honestly I’m beginning to not care anymore. I’m joining just about everyone else who is jaded with the hype, the constant buzz about another fallen media angel in the world of overpaid sports icons. Psychoanalysts could have a field day with this. Maybe Kobe is a target, a victim. Could be that the woman is making it up — or maybe he actually did assault her and rape her — or maybe a little bit of both?

Fact is, whatever happens, the larger problem will still be there. People seem to be “okay” with the adultery part. Oh, so all he did was cheat on his wife — no big deal. Yea yea, he’s forgiven, it was the hotel clerk’s fault for coming on to him.

What are you, nuts? Come on — this is another item on a long list of things that are constantly pissing me off. It’s like nothing is ever anybody’s fault anymore, and even if it is, they still get off easy if they say the right things, or know the right people, or just plain have too much money for their own good.

Fifty years ago, Kobe would have had his ass kicked by that girls’ father and there wouldn’t have been a trial about it. Just go straight for the shotgun. His money and his blanket of lawyers give him a shield against any real consequences. Ask OJ — you can plain just kill your wife and get away with it if you distort the truth enough to confuse the shit out of 12 people.

Meanwhile, in DC our idiotic president is laughing his ass off. Sports, the great diversion for the masses has once again won our attention and we continue to ignore political issues that affect us all. Just about the only time we are exposed to the truth is when we fill our gas tanks — and in Oregon we are even deprived of that — we have attendents do it so we can keep listening to our radios in our oversized inefficient SUVs.

So the president, basketball stars, gas station attendents — none of them deserve to be my hero. I look at the honest teacher who makes shitty pay but doesn’t care because they love the kids — or the nurse who takes extra time to talk to her patients in an attempt to take away their pain — or the programmers who work for free everyday in an effort to make the world a better place. They are my heroes. I can salute them — they are way more badass — and I haven’t even seen them in Sprite commercials.

Kobe’s good at basketball — but he gets an F for fatherhood, husbandry, leadership by example, and responsibility. You too, OJ and W. You guys suck ass.