American Bikesheds


I wasn’t really surprised when I read the comments on a simple news ticker post on CNN. But it got me to thinking (instead of sleeping) about common arguments made against Barack Obama. Ready? Ok, go.

Obama can’t beat McCain, so let Hillary go even though she lost the primary in delegates and popular vote.

So why have a primary then? Why not just have 6 or 7 old guys in a room pick the democratic nominee instead? Oh, right, democracy and all that crap.

Obama is an elitist who is completely out of touch with normal Americans.

So let’s see… Barack said, “It’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or anti-pathy to people who aren’t like them, or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.” So now he’s an elitist. Out of touch with the working class. But… but… but…

It’s true… American politics have become trivial in many ways because we’ve started to seriously argue about stupid bullshit like who wears lapel pins. Don’t make me quote the “pieces of flair” line from Office Space. Barack was a dumbass for saying it the way he did, but get over it.

This election is a huge-ass bikeshed argument because nobody truly understands how we’ll fix the economy, improve education, resurrect social security, fix our world reputation or reform our federal government. Is it much easier to talk about guns, god and how fucked up everybody else is? Yes. In fact, I do it all the time!

So that’s what elections are about for so many Americans — which is probably why they vote so differently compared to elitist assholes who can read and understand the issues. The Kentucky vote distribution says a lot. Hrm, I wonder what’s in Louisville and Lexington… ?

Obama is a cult leader who hates America.

Well, this is just stupid. But hey, cue the angry pictures of Rev. Wright, say elitist, and *poof* — the dog has been wagged. Pretty sure Fox News beat this dead horse (probably a bad phrase given current events but I’m leaving it in) quite a few times, and it worked, too.

Exit polls in Kentucky showed that, “nearly 55 percent of Democratic voters said Obama shares the most controversial views of Wright and those voters went for Clinton 84 percent to 9 percent over Obama. Among the 44 percent of Kentucky voters who said Obama does not share Wright’s views, 51 percent voted for the Illinois senator while 43 percent went for Clinton.”

Anyway, what really kept me up late on Tuesday was rummaging through comments on this ticker item about Oregon voters on CNN. And oh boy, there is some good shit on this page. Let me tell you some of my favorites:

Oregon = always was a worthless town full of pot heads. The lawyers, teachers, police,students, doctors and nurses. I lived there…I know. They are very liberal because they always snort. Obama snorts too that’s why he’s so popular. What a bunch of rot. They deserve each other.

Besides not knowing that Oregon is a state, this person obviously has had some bad experiences with snorting marijuana. Must have hurt pretty bad.

lol college educated but no common sense.Kentucky was by far more impressive then elitist oregon.

What a humble statement. I think I lost you at “lol college educated”.

Curiously, though not ostentatiously religious, OBAMA is by far the nearest thing to Jesus that I have seen among the presidential candidates.
“Naive, poor judgment” guy that he was, Jesus said “Love your enemies” and meant it, whether they belong to the Clinton following or are Republicans or whether they are Iranian, Cuban, Venezuelan or anybody.

This kind of cracked me up. Interesting point, but I’d have to see him in a beard to make an educated decision.

Read the rest — it’s hilarious (and depressing).

But of all the diatribes and idiotic crap I waded through that night, this one stuck with me:

I believe I would rather be uneducated versus non religious. Brains versus Morality….I’ll take Morality.

Upon reading this, something occurred to me. Could be nothing, could be everything. Either way, my spidey-sense tingled and I came to a shocking conclusion: that person, my friends, is obviously not a zombie.